Ten Commandments of the Subway

1. Thou shalt not set their bags in an empty seat when people are standing.
I hope your bags are comfortable in that seat there...

2. Thou shalt not hold onto an overhead bar if thou is not wearing deodorant or have not shaved their armpits.
I mean, I was raised in Portland, go to college in Austin, I'm fine with women going au naturale, but I don't need it in my face while I'm riding the train.


3. Thou shalt ABSOLUTELY NOT try to surreptitiously lift up a cute girl's dress during crowded rush hour (or any hour for that matter).
No exceptions. It's pervy.


4. Thou shalt assist a young parent with (un)loading a stroller from/onto the train.
You can have the whole stone-cold, selfish NYC attitude, but you can be nice enough to help a lone parent with a baby.


5. Thou shalt not get on an un air-conditioned car in the summer.
It will feel literally like 1000 degrees. You'll thank me later.


6. Thou can reenact any movie subway scenes if the car is not packed and you have at least two witnesses with you.
RENT, Step Up 2, etc...

7. Thou shalt not wait for the express train if it will take more than three minutes to arrive.
Because by then you don't save any time.


8. Thou shalt squeeze as many people into the car during rush hour as possible.
It happens whether thou likes it or not.


9. Thou shalt not sing and ask for money if thou doesn't have a tolerable voice.
It's not fair to the rest of us.

10. Thou shalt not make-out with thou's significant other.
Unless you like death stares from Felicia.